Throat Infection from the Bowels of Hell
Happy 2009! I hope your new years was better than mine. Monday night I felt the stirrings of a cold, so I drank some tea and avoided sugar as a precaution.
Tuesday morning rolls around and my throat ached with a pain no mortal should be made to face. I think I read about a similar infection somewhere between Exodus 7-11. If there was a molten lava spring nearby I would have drank from it greedily to sooth the pain. I examined it in the mirror to make sure a porcupine hadn’t taken up residence while I was sleeping.
Fear not! I didn’t despair and went straight into action with my 4-Step Bacterial Infection Response Strategy:
- Step One: I remove all instances of sugar from my diet. No chocolate. No jam. No candy. No sugary cereal. Sugar has been shown to depress the immune system, look it up.
- Note: If drinking orange or other fruit juice, I dilute it 50/50 with water.
- Step Two: Always have a drink of either water or tea on hand. If I have it next to me, I will drink it, keeping precious fluid reserves high.
- Step Three: I add oregano and garlic to everything I can. For lunch I lightly toasted up some naan bread, lightly buttered it, then covered it with some chopped garlic, oregano , crushed, dried cayenne peppers and a little salt. It’s quite tasty. I also drink a basic oregano tea (oregano + boiling water), it’s incredibly soothing. Garlic, oregano and cayenne peppers have all exhibited superb anti-bacterial properties. I encourage you to research it
- Step Four: Sleep. And lots of it if you can. I got 10 hours last night and plan on going to bed right after I finish posting this. Sleep has been shown to speed healing in essentially every study done.
Unfortunately on New Years I had two glasses of champagne (high in sugar and alcohol) which was probably the worst thing I could have done. Nothing is worse for your immune system than alcohol, other than, I dunno, sucking on pocket change.
On that note, I leave you and pray for either A) a swift death, or B) recovery.
-TCR